The manger.

I no longer have my collection of advent related books, devotionals, poems, prayers, etc. which is kind of sad right now. Well actually I still have them but they're hiding somewhere in my parents' basement. Luckily the following little piece I had saved on my computer. It really is incredible that God came to earth as a baby, and I think Bonhoeffer writes beautifully and simply about it's meaning for us. 

'Those Who Go to the Manger Will Be Transformed'
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"If God chooses Mary as his instrument, if God himself wants to come into this world in the manger at Bethlehem, that is no idyllic family affair, but the beginning of a complete turnaround, a reordering of everything on the earth. If we wish to take part in this Advent and Christmas event, then we cannot simply be bystanders or onlookers, as if we were at the theater, enjoying all the cheerful images. No, we ourselves are swept up into the action there, into this conversion of all things. We have to play our part too on this stage, for the spectator is already an actor. We cannot withdraw.
What part, then, do we play? Pious shepherds, on bended knee? Kings who come bearing gifts? What sort of play is this, where Mary becomes the mother of God? Where God enters the world in the lowliness of the manger?
The judgment of the world and its redemption - that is taking place here. And the Christ child in the manger is himself the one who prounounces the judgment and redemption of the world. He repels the great and the powerful. He puts down the might from their thrones, he humbles the arrogant, his arm overpowers all the proud and the strong, he raises what is lowly and makes it great and splendid in his compassion.
Therefore we cannot approach his manger as if it were the cradle of any other child. Those who wish to come to his manger find that something is happening within them."

"Even as fire when used leaves a mark on a man's body, so words of Torah when used leave a mark on the body. Fire: they who work with it are readily distinguishable from other mortals. So, too - by their walk, by their speech, by their garments in the marketplace - disciples of the wise are just as readily distinguishable."

Just thinking about this today. I want my life to be marked by scripture. I want to be smelly with the truth, and my hands stained with the words of Jesus as someone working with fire would smell like smoke and have hands stained by soot. I want the living word of God to be more alive in me and to impact my very being in a greater way.

Also, I'm in a class right now that focuses on professionalism and governance and "dealing with turbulent urban settings". It's really interesting and we're getting to look at a ton of case studies, but we're also looking at failed initiatives. There've been a lot of people with good ideas and good intentions to truly change circumstances for some of the most marginalized people in the world, but for some reason they end up making a bigger mess. In fact, my teacher made sure to remind us last week that "just because we're lefty and compassionate doesn't mean we won't f*** something up." Shoot. 

So, anyways, I'm again feeling overwhelmed with the need in the world and reminded of how small I am. I'm overwhelmed with the difficulty to truly change circumstances in education and housing projects due to the bureaucracy of policy. I'm overwhelmed with the amount of theory and research to consider, and to sit around with followers of Bourdieu and Weber and Durkheim, knowing that saying I follow Jesus has no credibility with most. I'm overwhelmed with feeling like I have no answers...for anything. Which leads me back to the quote at the top. I need the truth of scripture to mark my life in a greater way, and the hope and wisdom found in it to become my very being. That really seems like the only answer; to soak in the Truth.

Excitement! (volume 1)

About a month ago I started listening to Christmas music. Not the cheesy classics, but the winter-themed (and Christ-themed!) songs with indie music credibility. I made sure to warn Brooke just in case she was someone that was annoyed by a premature jump into the holidays (which she's not!). I also was thrilled to see that the Christmas lights were beginning to be hung about three weeks ago all over the city of Amsterdam. I guess when there aren't single-family homes to privately decorate, the city takes over! Nearly every street has a little something. Now this past weekend I was able to partake in the arrival of Sinterklaas to Antwerp! He came to Amsterdam the next day, but I chose to sleep instead. I seriously felt like a 6 year old! I waited on the dock with several other 20something friends and was noticeably excited to see Sinterklaas' steamboat pull around the corner. Kind of embarrassing, but I didn't seem to care. I was made fun of on several occasions for the amount of videotaping I was doing, but I just loved the whole experience! And it also happened that Sinterklaas was late to Antwerp, which I secretly enjoyed! All the kids (and some others...) anxiously awaited his arrival and kept singing Sinterklaas songs and eating waffles to pass the time.

Typically for me, the holidays are a more thought provoking, sort of meditation on the previous year in light of Christ's arrival to earth. I really do hope for some of that this year, but what a thrill to be so excited for something so silly! It's fun to be innocent and expectant moreso than usual, and we actually were commissioned to be like children, right? I definitely feel like a kid right now. Here are some pictures from the Sinterklaas extravaganza, because I've realized pictures make my blog so much more attractive.

And by the way...my brother's getting MARRIED! I'm not sure if it's a secret, but I'm really really excited! It'll be in April or May I guess (which means a trip to Iceland very soon!) Here's a picture of Drew and Sola, just because.

oh, worldviews

No matter my opinion of him, I feel bad for Alan Greenspan. Did he cause the ever continuing economic crisis that is now international? I really don't know, but probably wouldn't blame one man. However anyone that at 82 years old has to confess to the world that their entire worldview may be wrong, I ache a little for. Who would want to discover that their entire purpose, their job, their ideology might in fact be erroneous and is actually negatively affecting millions of people? MAN. Will all objectivists now see the light? Can I say that on my own blog without sounding like a weirdo or being completely offensive? I'm not sure. Now I'm rambling. 

So it's been an adventure with my bike this week!

First, somehow I've begun a trend of completely forgetting to lock it when I get somewhere. This is a bad habit for many reasons, but especially because it ends with me emptying out my purse trying to find my bike keys and looking for nearly ten minutes before I realize they're still in my lock. I'm not sure which I'm more thankful for...not having my bike stolen, or not having actually lost my bike keys. 

Also, for about 3 weeks it had been tricky to turn. In fact, sometimes my front wheel wouldn't even turn so I'd have to just shift my weight hoping my bike moved with me. But this week the front of my bike started making an awful squeaking sound any time I got on. Mostly out of embarrassment I decided it was time to get fixed. Luckily, there was a sweet man at Waterlooplein who was able to fix it pretty cheapily. I guess I was missing some piece on the handlebars...which proved to be a necessity.

So yesterday with a new and improved bike, I was riding home from class listening to my Ipod, feeling really peaceful and enjoying the few minutes of sunshine. There was a guy in front of me on the road, and I had the choice to either pass him or slow down and just ride behind...so enjoying the peacefulness of the ride I decided I'd just slow down a bit. But at the same time, he stopped completely. Next thing I knew I was practically on top of him. I'm not really sure what's the best thing to do when you've just ran into a guy on his bike (who also happens to be good looking) and you have your ipod in and earmuffs on, so i just kept saying "sorry" which conveniently is also used by the Dutch and threw off my earmuffs and ipod to make sure he was okay. He awkwardly said he was, and not really knowing how to make conversation out of the situation, I just said "okay, good" or something similar and rode off. whoa! so embarrassing. 

I came home from the incident and decided to eat some lunch and sleep a bit. In the afternoon I headed to the Pickerill's to do some baking with Julia, Rachel, and Amanda. Yet again, same as in the morning...listening to my Ipod, wearing my earmuffs, enjoying the peaceful ride...and this time laughing to myself about what had happened in the morning. All of a sudden a construction guy is standing in the bikepath saying something to me. After about a minute of me removing things from my ears yet again and communicating that I don't know dutch, he asks if I'd ride on the tram path, as they're doing some work in the bike path. I'm thinking, "why not?". Literally 30 seconds later I'm laying in the middle of one of the biggest intersections in Amsterdam having slid several feet after slipping on the tram track. The tram tracks are infamous in Amsterdam, as nearly everyone takes a fall at least once due to getting a tire stuck. I guess after 3 months it was my time. Luckily I'm still alive as Leidseplein is also a main intersection for cars, taxis, busses, trams, pedestrians, and other bikes and scooters. 

Needless to say, my ego (and right leg) is a bit bruised. 

Besides all the bike craziness, I've had quite a busy week (and missed Brooke the past several days)! I stayed up until 8am for the election, which proved to be worth it after hearing the incredible speech our President-elect delivered (I cried for hours after)! I finished my first end-term paper (finally). I traveled to Brussels over the weekend (and ate lots of chocolate followed with beer). I visited the Bureau of Research and Statistics for the city of Amsterdam. I did a make-up presentation for the class I skipped due to still being awake at 8am the previous week. I ate nachos with Luke. I had a sleepover at the Pickerill's and greeted Brooke at the airport this morning. And tomorrow I'm heading to Antwerp for a class outing! I wish I could write entire blog entries about each of these things, but I just don't think I have it in me.

Starbucks at Schiphol!

Hard to tell, but it's the European Paliament in Brussels.

Rue Royal.

Parc de Bruxelles avec Anais

Grande Place in Bruxelles.

So, forgive me, I got caught up in the election last post and forgot I wanted to mention 2 other things...

1. Hilary Buchanan is a huge sweetheart! She's really great at making people feel loved, and I just adore her. But I checked my email this morning and found this...

It totally made my day. 

2. Amsterdam's Museumnacht is incredible! For one night 41 of Amsterdam's museums are open late with special exhibitions and performances. Brooke and I went with some friends to Artis and went on a late night zoo tour and to the aquarium! It was so fun. A really nice fall night with lots of warme chocomel. Granted we only ended up at the zoo tour by accident, being confused first time Museumnachters with a small understanding of Dutch. We did see a lot of animals lit by flashlight though! But the aquarium was beautiful. So many exotic, colorful fish in lots of different spaces. Incredible!

Then we checked out the Portuguese Synagogue (which I didn't even know existed). It doesn't have any electricity so it was lit entirely by candlelight. It was beautiful! The synagogue was much simpler than cathedrals I've seen, and I really liked it. Beautiful wooden ceiling and big, silver colored windows. We got there right before midnight as a small men's choir was preparing to sing. The voices, the candlelight, the people, the architecture...it was amazing. 

Unfortunately, we didn't make it to the Rijks in time to see the much talked about Damien Hirst diamond skull, but that can be for another time.

So close!

Tomorrow's election day! It's about now that I wish I still had my "I wish I could vote everyday but I'll settle for Nov. 2nd" shirt, except I'd have to write in Nov. 4th of course. I'm excited! It's been a gift to be somewhat separated from all the ugliness and any division the race has caused, and also to realize how important this is to the entire world. I've been invited to about 5 different election watching parties, hosted mostly by non-Americans. The whole world is watching! In fact, my friend Pamela from Quebec said she couldn't sleep last night and was in tears about the possibilities before Americans with this one election. I've also been given permission to miss class on Wednesday morning as my professor believes this is an historic event. 

So, I have no intention of making this a political blog, but as important as this is to internationals, I hope Americans see it as even more important. And if you're the praying kind, I hope you've been asking for direction in your convictions. 

Perhaps it's from studying social policy for the past few months, or watching the shock and awe in people's expressions when I describe the condition of poor neighborhoods in the US (and it's not just the scandinavians!) but I hope for and really do trust there will be reform of our welfare system over the next 4 years. I admit I might have socialist tendencies, though not the radical kind that we probably should be fearful. But the kind that is willing to pay a little more so inner city kids can have the same education as those in the mostly white burbs, and so the poor aren't continually losing in the process of urban renewal, and so people that can't get jobs with benefits are able to still afford to go to the doctor, or bring a baby into the world for that matter. 

I understand as people that follow Jesus there is no candidate that represents the Kingdom of God fully because we do in fact only have ONE savior. I also know that everyone has different convictions about how to best love our communities and our world...but sharing resources and breaking down the rich v. poor that's sadly made the U.S. infamous around the world is definitely one of mine. Of course, I don't think one policy change or newly elected official will make a complete difference, but I think it's wise to at least vote in that direction.

So whatever your convictions, I pray today that they're in you because of what the Lord is doing, not because of what ads are saying, or your parents think, or what you THINK you should care about. Make it between you and the Lord, and be excited to express yourself tomorrow!

Happy E-Day!