Not my words.

So, pieces of this have been in my head for several weeks and I decided I'd publish it in case there are still people out there that haven't discovered the brilliance of Wendell Berry. Oh, I think this piece is beautiful! and the closing remark, "practice resurrection", once gave me simple words to describe my role in the Kingdom. 

Eat it up!

THE MAD FARMER LIBERATION FRONT

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion -- put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

And will I be invited to the sound?

I had a conversation with a friend today on the Kingdom of God, and what it means when heaven breaks in on earth. This was just a piece of our discussion, but it got me thinking. I didn't have words at first to describe it in it's fullness, that it isn't just things being better than they are now, but actually completely made new. Yet, when someone that's hungry is fed, or is sick and is healed...that's part of the kingdom coming too. Perhaps it's my habit of talking rapidly when I'm passionate about something...but I felt like I was talking and talking, but not getting to the point. And as two people that are tired of religion, I was disappointed that the explanations that came to mind still were slightly bathed in religious jargin. Some of my favorite ways to imagine the kingdom come, as poetic as they might be, are extremely esoteric. And how available the Kingdom of God is! 

Even in my explanation of this conversation, I'm not sure of my point (perhaps to hear your insight!). But it was powerful today, as messy as it was. 

An exhaustive update on the past several days...

The weeks here are flying. I feel like I get caught up on life, take a breath, and it's already the weekend again! My days are filled with class, reading at the library between class, reading at my house after class, and winding down with friends (including my delightful roommate) at night. I'm still adjusting to having the majority of my schoolwork be outside of the classroom, and am constantly fighting to stay motivated. There's just so much to take in in a new place!

Truly though, my classes are wonderful! I feel so privileged to be studying alongside people with all different worldviews and backgrounds. And I'm really learning about the history of the Netherlands and the issues facing the Dutch people today, as most of my professors have done a majority of their research here. I feel like I'm beginning to understand the new world around me!

Some days are a bit overwhelming though. It's funny that being a sociologist, you aren't meant to solve problems really, just ask questions in order that other people can potentially solve the problems. But I ache for an answer at times! I know problems like migration of women from the third world to the first world, and the integration of Muslims in Amsterdam, and the individualization (not individualism...) in western societies don't have easy answers, but the more my hope is buried by questions, the more frustrated I sometimes become. But I think that's an okay response...?

So, when not analyzing the world, I've really been enjoying my time with new friends! My fellow "SPSW" students are becoming a little community, and I'm loving it! We got together last weekend, and have a dinner party coming up this week. It's great to spend time together outside of class, and not in the queue for coffee.

Sunday I took a day trip with Hillary and Anais to Utrecht to see a new part of Holland. I kept hearing it was "just like Amsterdam but smaller", but it really had it's own distinct flavor. A quaint town with tons of shops (closed on Sunday of course) and a great museum! And the road along the main canal was gorgeous. There also happened to be a festival going on, so we got to partake in an opera performance on the canal! We kept saying how perfect of a day it was...really relaxing, beautiful weather, surprise opera performance...on and on and on.

Really, Amsterdam is beginning to feel normal to me...and I'm beginning to be normal in Amsterdam. I'm continuing to pray that I'm seeing what God's seeing, and how he's moving. And now that it's officially been a month since I've been here (!!) I'm asking the Lord what he'd have me do next...as I slowly begin coming out of the settling in stage. I'm praying for a greater gift of courage and boldness, to ask hard questions and to be more intentional. I'm also praying for humility, to really listen to other people regardless if I agree with what they're saying. And that I learn to not be defensive, but still truth telling. It's quite the challenge!

As always, thanks for your love!

Oh, and one more bit of normalcy! Brooke and I are off to see Bon Iver tonight! Even though I saw him just 2 months ago in Columbus, I couldn't pass it up. I'll report back...

Reflecting on September 11th, 2001 on September 12th, 2008

September 11th kind of came and went this year, which I presume is due to being abroad. But as I'm sitting this morning catching up on the news, the effect of september 11th is almost too much to bear. 

I'm reflecting on how painful it was for the American people. How real the event was, and how human both the hijackers and the victims were. How convinced a person must be to take the lives of thousands. 

But I'm also reflecting on our response to this as a nation. On the fear it's created, the mindset of us versus them. The videos of young soldiers in Iraq explaining that they don't know the difference between our presence in Iraq and in Afghanistan. The hype that a vice presidential candidate may or may not think we're fighting a holy war.

It's hard to separate the day itself from the response that we've had the last 7 years. And for me, I can't mourn one without the other. 

I liked what Jim Wallis wrote a few days after 9/11 and shared again yesterday...

But we can deny them their victory by refusing to submit to a world created in their image. Terrorism inflicts not only death and destruction but also emotional oppression to further its aims. We must not allow this terror to drive us away from being the people God has called us to be. We assert the vision of community, tolerance, compassion, justice, and the sacredness of human life, which lies at the heart of all our religious traditions.

"Refusing to submit to a world created in their image"...the real way to victory. To represent "the vision of community, tolerance, compassion, justice, and the sacredness of human life" not of violence and destruction. I'm praying today that as we're reminded of September 11th (on September 12th) that we're reminded of the lives we're to live in the Kingdom of God and choose to follow the way of Jesus rather than the way of this world.

That which is engineered.

For the other My Utmost for His Highest devotees, you'll already know about yesterday's little quip about worshipping in everyday occasions. He said something to the effect that to be ready for big things, or for crisis, or in order not to miss out on the fullness of what God would have for us, we should be doing that which is closest to us, which God has "engineered" into our lives. 

I've been praying for a while now (perhaps since I started following Jesus) that I'd see the world in light of the Kingdom. And typically I'd say that I am nearsighted, not seeing beyond what's in front of me...but in this text it seems that Chambers is commissioning us TO see what's right in front of us, but with different eyes. 

It's been a busy past couple of days as Brooke and I moved into our new little place (an exciting part of the moving to Amsterdam process!), we spent Saturday at Ikea (a store that is incredibly capable of furnishing an entire house...right down to a french press), enjoyed tapas with my new friends hilary and anais, wrote my first master's essay on what I view as the 3 biggest urban social problems today, have begun categorizing european welfare states according to their social policy regime and reading all authors that have ever had an opinion on this topic (luckily the amsterdam public library is delightful!), finally found school supplies on the top floor of a department store (with folders starting at 5 euro) after a week long search, had our first small group with some friends from the Utrecht Vineyard (which was a definite treat), and am now off to finally purchase some sort of carrier for my bike, explore the museums of amsterdam, and hopefully find a place to get my haircut before meeting up with friends for a live radio show tonight. 

With lots of new things going on, it's so easy to go from errand, to studying, to sleeping, to eating, to biking, to new friends...without ever pausing to see things in full. I'm praying I can continue to do what I'm doing (as I believe it HAS been engineered by God), but that I will see the kingdom in it. I want to see the mundane as purposeful, as life is purposeful and all of these little things culminate into life. 

and now i'm off to find phone minutes, as my cheap prepaid phone has just run out and there are several calls to make! 

thinking of you all today.