In Amsterdam

I'm thinking I need a Spring-ier picture of Amsterdam. And also thinking that I haven't written much lately.

A few things...

In the past month, my body's begun to fall apart. I was feeling overly tired and have unexplained bruises all over my body (which my doctor hesitated to believe were accidental, since they're suspiciously mostly on my thighs and arms), and there were other symptoms not worth blogging much about. Anyways, I decided it was time to take a trip to the doctor, as suggested by my mother. This was a process, and totally weird when you're used to American doctors. I felt like I was going into a business meeting when I went to my appointment. Not to mention that my sweet doctor's office shares a building with a real estate agency, and her door is completely unmarked with no receptionist. Luckily, an old man was wandering the building and could direct me to the right door. She sent me to get bloodwork done, which was yet another experience in and of itself. But while I was entering into the Dutch health system, I somehow also managed to completely wipe out in a park, cut up my knee, get my first bloody nose, and cut/bruise my heel in the photography museum (while also filling my flats with blood...gross). I'm contemplating the benefits of living in a bubble at this point. When my brother was having seizures, my parents jokingly bought an "apartment helmut" to make light of the situation, and "bubble" seems like an appropriate gift for me. 

I've been so thankful (for about 8 months now...) for the way the Lord's built a life for me in Amsterdam. What a gift to be a part of a church family with people that I love and respect so much, to be studying with people from all over the world, to live in an apartment with a balcony off the kitchen and a roommate that's always a relief to come home to, to have friends that I've known for only a few months that I feel I can really share who I am with, to be able to ride my bike everywhere, to live in a city where wine is allowed to be drank in the park. It's strange to think back and recall when doing exactly what I'm doing right now was just a dream, with no idea how to make it real. There are times when I miss being enveloped in American culture (something I can't conceptualize right now), and miss predictability and how easy interactions are. I don't think I've ever been more insecure. There are times when I forget the power of the Kingdom of God, the way it transforms lives, since it's unacknowledged by so many as being the way to change the world. There are times when I feel like I'm lost and messy, and maybe even messier than before. But I'm discovering that whatever is being grown in me (or falling away) as I'm breaking like a little girl, is part of the gift. I think. 

I have officially begun my thesis field work. I bought a super cool voice recorder, and had my first interview yesterday with a girl named Nadia. She was absolutely one of the sweetest girls, and we clicked instantly. She was open and gentle and honest and it was encouraging. It reminded me that I care. I started to forget, after writing three drafts of a thesis proposal and reading as much Bourdieu as I could get my hands on. But, Nadia reminded me. She inspired me so much that when I met with my advisor several hours later and he mentioned his vision for this perhaps turning into a large project for the future, I said "definitely".  Definitely was a bit over the top, considering I've never even thought about continuing my research post graduation. Whoops.

This all seems a valid reflection of my life the past two weeks. Though I've also discovered Burgermeester (literally the closest restaurant to my house), bought a jump rope hoping to convince people double dutch is back in, went bowling, had 2 fab meetings for Zoet and Zout, saw the Avedon exhibit at FOAM, and started using iCal.