In Amsterdam

It's really powerful to have a weekend of intentionally focusing on and celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus; the pinnacle of our faith. We can't have the resurrection without the sacrificial death or the death without the resurrection...and so we put our hope in both. And we also celebrate all that was done. "Death is swallowed up in Victory".

But today is Saturday, the day nothing happened. I think Saturday represents my spiritual life most of the time. We live between death and resurrection, some days seeing victory and other days only defeat. Some days feeling alive, others dead. Some days feeling free, others bound. It's a really hard place to live. Usually I think about how the disciples must have felt on the Saturday, nearly a sense of betrayal that they had given their lives to someone they thought was God and then watched him be murdered by man. But really, I think we feel this a lot of the time too. I just read in the news that a high school senior died on spring break after falling off a balcony last night. It also happens that 10 years ago today a friend died the exact same way, in the exact same place. I'll have dinner with his sister tonight, and struggle for what to say. It's been 10 years, but still is fresh. I'm feeling confronted with the reality of living in "the day nothing happened". I believe in victory, but can't always see it.

I have hope that this is the way it's intended though. There's something in not always seeing, but believing. Something beautiful really. And then there are moments when the resurrection is undeniably clear, and I can't help but celebrate.